April, 2007 Rhonda’s biographical musical journey
thus far…
Recently,
I was asked to share my thoughts for an upcoming magazine article about 'how
I got on my particular flute path' in life, and if there were 'any lessons
in it to pass on to other flutists'. Since I have been traveling for concerts
this month, and most of my writing time has gone into this article, I decided
to post it on my web-page. What appears here, of course, is the un-edited
version (I apologize to the reader in advance...).
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The
happy coincidences that that have led to my taking what one might call “the
musical road less traveled” have certainly not happened by any calculated
planning on my part! It has been by the serendipitous and timely acquaintance
of many people in my life, as well as the evolution of quiet inner thoughts
that have been my guide all along the way. All of this has resulted in
a broader musical palette from all over the world, which has become my path.
I
clarify this path as more broad, because I started out with the myopic belief
that classical music was the only real or so-called legitimate music out there...I
was completely immersed in, and dedicated to becoming a classical flute Soloist. Therefore,
if you wanted to be a Soloist, it would be in the classical world---I never
questioned it. Had I questioned it, I would have noticed the fact that
the classical music I was most in love with was the Symphonic/Orchestral music
(though I had no interest in becoming an orchestral flutist). I loved
whatever piece from the flute repertoire I played, but there was a wide gulf
between what I perceived as the “meaningfulness” of this music compared with
that of the Symphonic repertoire. At first glance, one might think it
is a given limitation of any repertoire including only one instrument with
piano, but I couldn’t help but notice this was not true with the repertoire
for violinists or pianists. We just did not get the “meat” that they
got, musically. This concerned me, and became a paradox in which I knew
I had to live and breath.
I
was also concerned about what I could not help but notice was the wide chasm
between classical music lovers, and the rest of the world. Unless one
was brought up with classical music, or was ‘taught’ to acquire a taste for
it, there seemed to be no understanding of it, let alone its ‘emotional’ relevance
like other music genres seemed to deliver. As just one example, my own
parents: they appreciated what I was doing on the flute, but I could
tell that it did not have any relevance in their daily lives, as it did in
mine. It didn’t particularly ‘affect’ them. Somewhere deep in my
heart I wanted to make the kind of music that might be more inclusive, for
the ‘wider public’ where it might have a larger impact. After all, the
desire to be a soloist was my wanting to bring something positive to whomever
would come to hear, and I wanted to be “relevant” to the time I was living
in, not just loyal to the great icons of the classical literature. I
wanted music to have a larger role than simply “performance” or “entertainment”. I
wanted it to SERVE the listener on the level of the soul.
Another
reality that has most likely contributed to the particular path I now find
myself on is that I try to perform from memory as much as possible. I
believe this has helped in composing pieces---though I will be honest in saying
I do not consider myself a Composer, with a capital C. I am simply someone
who has a need for challenging flute repertoire, a need for it to be accessible
to a mixed audience (at least to the degree I am able), and a catalyst for
my own soul’s expression. Those needs have resulted in coming up with
pieces of music, which I have “written down”. It is more like ‘flying’,
where you catch the wind currents here and there---and then it eventually
becomes a 'piece of music'.
Playing
from memory has also contributed greatly to freeing my playing because I’m
not staring at notes the whole time I’m playing, and in this way demonstrates
how improvising my way into new compositions has happened. I made the
decision to perform from memory because I was concerned about becoming “bored”
with the few classical pieces I would indeed be performing for the rest of
my life. There weren’t that many pieces to choose from, so it was going to
be a lot of repetition. How was I going to keep them fresh? Solution: perform
everything from memory! This way, I couldn’t get bored, as playing from
memory forces one to fully concentrate on every single delicious note, every
phrase, in a way that I adore. It becomes so much a part of your soul, it
doesn’t matter WHO wrote it, or what ‘genre’ it was in. It is simply
ALIVE in the moment!
These
aforementioned thoughts were nearly subconscious ones that I carried around
for years, and in some form I could not “afford” to look at them because I
didn’t have a clue as to how I would make my music life any different than
what I already knew: classical soloist. But as life is always so
full of surprises, these inner thoughts became a dim guiding light, pointing
the way toward the unfamiliar. As I continued walking by that hint of
‘light’, I would have to say it has become brighter and brighter as time has
gone on, though I still would not be able to tell you where it is going to
lead me next!
With
all of these percolating thoughts, I was now in my last year of my University
experience in
LIFE
BRINGS THE CHANGE: In the month before I graduated from the
To
make a long story short, it happened that a week later I was to come to
I
knew then that this was some kind of “audition”, but the word was never used,
as it was really a natural evolution, not an ‘official’ one. The day
of the Cathedral meeting, Paul Winter was there with his Sony Walkman tape-recorder,
something he has never left home without. He introduced me to the pianist
from the Consort, Paul Halley, who was also the Organist and Choir Master
at the Cathedral. Meanwhile, large groups of tourists were swarming the
place, particularly from
The
Sony walkman captured every note. My life could never be the same. There
was no going back into only ONE kind of music---classical music, as it was. For
the first time in my life, I created some kind of melody/music that I had
no idea existed inside me. When I began playing, I was enjoying the sound
in the cavernous Cathedral, but as I played, something larger than ‘self’
took over, and I gave over to it. After a phrase or two, I suddenly heard
the organ from the loft join in on a chord that at once made my notes more
meaningful. I had forgotten that Paul Halley had gone up there, and he
has near-perfect pitch, so he started to play along. Paul Winter joined
in on his soprano sax toward the end of the “piece” we were making up. It
was beauty, hope, surrender, ecstasy, freedom----everything of this positive
nature had just been created out of “nowhere”, simply because we tried it. It
was for me the first time ever that I had made---created---music that was
not from another (usually deceased) composer.
I
walked out of the University the next month and began 7-plus years performing
and touring with the Consort world-wide. The Consort opened up a new
way of making music, improvising as we did at least once in every concert
(where every player was making up his/her part in a group setting). I
was exposed and immersed in traditional village music from
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 The Consort at the Dead Sea |
I
knew precisely the time when I needed to graduate from the Consort, and did
after those seven years. I knew that whatever had been developing inside
me, musically, would no longer wait. The first thing we did was create
“Free as a Bird”, my first solo CD. I remember being desperate to finish
it, because “then I will know what it is I do”. I really had no idea
what music I “did”, as I was now playing all kinds of music and styles, and
it was like one large pot of stew, cooking slowly over the years. This was
the time when I acquired my first ethnic flute, which was soon to become a
definite passion of mine. I now have a large variety of flutes from other
countries and eras, each compelling their own music, much of which is yet-to-be-written!
Before
that recording, I had never ‘written’ a piece of music in my life. Before
we were finished with the CD, I finally completed my first piece, “Lament”. It
helped that this was the emotional state I was in at the time, so the music
flowed from my soul. Quickly on the heels of that piece came, “Movin’
On”. Again, music deeply related and connected to the very life
I was living. This illustrates that I was, accidentally, beginning to
actualize that desire I had for ‘relevancy” for the time I was living in,
musically! It was of my own heart and my own “need” to express whatever
needed expressing.
I
continue to this day following this path. It is literally the path of
“following my heart”. Though that might sound trite, it is the honest
truth of what I am doing. Since this is the method, I have no doubt that
it is also available to any flutist who wishes to say yes to this same ‘inner
listening’ of what to follow, musically. Following my heart means paying
close attention to what I am “moved” by in music from around the world, close
attention to feelings in general, and a commitment to experiencing life
events as honestly as possible in order to have them ‘digested’ and given
back out in the form of new music.
As
things have developed for me over time, I have been very clear in my desire
to live a full, real life FIRST, with music as the very path in which to enable
my doing so. Many have described my particular path an ‘ambassador’ role
in music. I think it at least summarizes the desires I already have in
my heart, putting music to “serve” people, and contribute to mankind in some
positive way. Music is that big for me. Whether it is an audience
of one or of thousands, I want to give something back that is REAL to the
human heart. This refers back to my original concern of being ‘accessible’
and ‘relevant’ musically. I’m not interested in fame, I’m interested
in EFFECTIVENESS. In making a contribution, not just being a ‘consumer’
while I live.
Just
such an ambassadorial example exists for me right at this moment: I am
currently living in Palestine, just 15 minutes outside of Jerusalem, teaching
flute lessons to the most adorable and beautiful human beings—from age 10-27. These
are people who have been through endless suffering, day after day, and are
quite literally “locked in” to their world as the circumstances have created
this tragedy. I have come here so I might “help” in some way. I
am helping by teaching these students, and by absorbing into my being an entirely
different culture and way of life. It is spectacularly fascinating, with
every aspect being ‘foreign’, which I fully embrace. Sure, it has taken
a lot of courage to say ‘yes’ to something so unknown, but I see this as the
approach my life has always asked of me: having the courage to say ‘yes’. It
so happens that I have been in love with Middle Eastern music for years, so
hopefully, by the end of finally digesting everything here, I can come up
with some new music as a result…
In
summarizing, if I had any advice for others, it would be the same advice illustrated
here. First, be ready for ANYTHING (be technically prepared on the flute
for any musical ‘serendipity’ that crosses your path). Secondly, pay
attention to what music you really, honestly like, and how you would like
it to be for the people around you (your audience). Thirdly, act with
courage even though ‘fears’ are always present: say “yes” every time
something challenging or new comes along, as much as you can. You never
know where it may lead you. Sometimes you will only get the smallest
HINT of a clue as to your next step, and sometimes it will be quite loud. You
have to be willing to weather both extremes. I tell all these students
this, too: it is ok to be afraid to ‘take up your musical calling’, but
just don’t let the fear stop your actions. That is what courage is: action
in spite of fear of the unknown, or even fears of
success! Keep doing the work that needs to be done (practicing, learning
HOW to improve your flute playing, which improves your very Self at the same
time, etc.). Finally, on a technical and musical flute level, start trying
to write your own music! Just START. One phrase, one measure, one pattern---just try ‘making it up’. I
believe that flute players are some of the most alive musicians I have encountered,
and I believe we ought to be writing our own music. We know best what
we like to play, so why not create it? We have to put the time into practicing,
why not practice “inventing” phrases? Then, sew them together.
As
I mentioned, I have no idea where my ‘path’ of music will lead me next. But
I know it will most likely be a complete surprise. This is why I love
living this particular course so much---it is always unpredictable, and full
of goodness which continually expands my being. Even my husband Lee has
come to recognize this, and embrace it---not an easy thing to do for a non-musician,
I suspect, but he has that kind of heart, also! I feel that I’m one of
the most fortunate people alive to be able to DO whatever it is I’m doing
with music, living this Artistic Life! It isn’t about how much money
you can make (as for some), it is about how EFFECTIVE you can be on a larger, human-kind
level. At least it is for me.
---Rhonda
Larson
April, 2007
Ramallah,