FEBRUARY, 2007

On February 16 and 17^th, I performed solo concerts in Jerusalem and Ramallah. Lee arrived a few days earlier to help out by running the sound equipment, and generally keeping me sane.

JERUSALEM PERFORMANCE

The Jerusalem performance was in an exquisite little chapel at the Ecolé Biblique, a French Dominican institution. The day of the Jerusalem concert, I was worried about how the trip from Ramallah to Jerusalem would go, as I would have to go through Qalandia checkpoint, and endure the intentional humiliations that this entails. Worse, I would have many flutes with me and everything I needed for the concert, so I was sure to have too much luggage to wield gracefully. I imagined how it would be to walk all my flutes through the x-rays at the checkpoint, and how many hours it might end up taking…

Instead of continuing to worry about the unknown, I went to the Conservatory and asked if there was any possible way to get from Ramallah to Jerusalem without having to endure the checkpoint. Was there a way around it? Yes, there was. The taxi was booked for the trip, and I was much relieved. I guessed they would tell me it would take two hours to take this trip, but happily, they said it would only be about 30 minutes! (Remember, Jerusalem is only 7 miles from Ramallah!) As it developed, we found out within minutes of our taxi departure that in fact Qalandia was entirely shut down within the hour---all traffic was denied due to the protests over the Al-Aqsa mosque unrest. The protests are due to the Israelis trying to build something requiring excavation right under the Mosque itself, and it has understandably provoked mistrust and panic from the entire Muslim community.

The ride to Jerusalem was completely new terrain for me. I had not been this far east from Ramallah, and it was absolutely gorgeous land. I have mentioned that all the land here is very arid, and the hillsides are scattered with stubby growth and rocks. But these particular hills were very pristine-looking, it seemed to me. All I could think about was how, in the future, could I get this far out of town on my own, just to walk in these hills…

Arriving at the church in Jerusalem, we were rewarded with a complete change of ecology once again upon entering through the church gates. They open to a garden and small forest, which felt like a new and sacred part of Jerusalem, as these can be difficult to experience in a city torn by time and dissention.

The caretaker happened to be there, a young Arab man who’s English was flawless. He was as nice as could be, and showed us where we would be giving the concert. Then he took us on a little tour of the grounds, which proved the very thing I needed to absorb the beauty, calmness, and sanctity of the place. The hallways are enormous, and many of the buildings have existed over a long history. In fact, this location used to be outside the city ‘limits’, but now are enmeshed within the cluster of population and development that has become the Jerusalem of today. We were shown the library where so many sacred documents are kept, which people from all around the world come to study. Their holdings include the Code of Hammurabi and some of the ancient Qumran Scrolls. I felt completely refreshed seeing the entire grounds, including the large church on the premises. Thankfully, we weren’t using the large church, as it stands there proud and cold in the winter temperatures, so the chapel is what becomes the functional building at this time of year.

We set up equipment for hours, having trouble getting things to work properly. It was very frustrating, but we had to make it work. Finally, we found solutions to things, and had just enough time to eat something in the side room before the concert. It was a pleasant wait for the concert, as the anticipation of not knowing what to expect from some unknown audience that would presumably be attending is a happy and “surrendered” feeling. One never knows whether ANYONE will attend, so there is that anticipation of having to just “let go, and let come what may”. Certainly the audience comes due to no reputation of mine preceding me here, as no one knows me in this part of the world!

I was happy to see a full audience when I came out, amongst them several priests! This was my favorite part, because it turns out that much of my music tends to be drawn from the same well in which they make their profession, and my stories often reveal my own mystical music-walk in life.

After what I would characterize as an “intimate” concert---sharing my music and stories with them, and seeing their ebullient faces reflecting back at me---I got to meet many of them afterwards. Several described themselves as pilgrims, “like yourself”, one woman said. Another woman of perhaps 60 was in Jerusalem because she has been riding her bicycle from Normandy, France to Jerusalem, and will continue on! She was very intriguing. There were many French people there, having been invited through the Ecolé community. It felt good that people responded very positively to the concert, as one never knows if the music is palatable in any new community or part of the world, so it is always risky business putting yourself out there 100%, hoping for recognizable commonalities and relatedness.

RAMALLAH PERFORMANCE

The next evening my concert was in Ramallah. It was another painful equipment set-up day, having more troubles similar to the previous days’. Additionally, this church was much larger, a catholic ‘Latin Church’, and it was bone-chilling cold inside. It would be a battle to keep my instruments and hands warm enough to play as though no obstacle was present.

Again, I had fears of any audience attending, and especially now that it was clear the only publicity efforts on “announcing” this concert was a few fliers distributed somewhere in Ramallah. I was at last-resort counting on word-of-mouth, which can work well, but when you combine it with the local knowledge of the inside temperature of that church and imaging yourself sitting through a concert there, I ended up with a half-full house. But I must say I was very touched that those who did attend were extremely gracious, receptive, and astutely alert. At one point I saw my beautiful landlady, Rima, with tears in her eyes from the previous piece of music. These very moments are what I live for as a musician. I can’t take responsibility for having accomplished moving someone, but this great, divine Mystery that encompasses music is what is prevalent in the live performances, and I try to fully surrender myself to this knowledge and partake equally of its surprise and gift.

Afterwards, Lee and I were hosted to an exquisite dinner with Rima and some of her friends and family. At the table was the founder of Birzeit University, the first president of the University, and the past head of the first engineering department in Palestine---all visionaries and leaders of the community. It was wonderful. The meal was finished with what they called, “white coffee”. It is hot water with what tasted like rose water, but as we talked about it I lost track of whether it was actually rose water or orange blossom water—in either case, an essence from the natural plants themselves. It was heavenly, like drinking a prayer.

Lee had to leave for the airport that night at 2:30 AM! We didn’t really sleep, as I was talking on and on, full of energy after the concert, as is usually the case. (He has become used to this on nights after shows).

THE STUDENTS, AND INSPIRATION

Since the concert, I have continued to work hard on my own craft, as well as endlessly teaching the flute students. Best of all is the immediate change in the students who attended my concert. This is just what I was hoping for, and it was a very difficult thing for me to live with the fact that no flute student I was teaching since OCTOBER had any idea what I might be like as a performer/flute-player/artist other than how I taught. They need to know whatever their current “teacher” is like at their chosen instrument, as this is where any hope of a ‘vision’ for their souls has chance to take root. That is, they might possibly become inspired. There is nothing like the inspiration of the moment created from live performance. It can be worth a year of private “lessons”.

I will never forget one moment of said inspiration for myself: I was in perhaps my second year of University (maybe first?), and I was in another city because I had to compete the next day in some “Competition”. That night, with extra time on our hands, I and another competitor (on piano) went to see a movie, as a leisurely act during our intense time. The movie happened to be “White Nights”, with the Russian dancer Mikhail Baryshnikov. My life has never been the same, since! Baryshnikov’s dancing in the opening scene of this movie changed me forever, and I hardly saw the rest of the movie, except for any moment in which he would again dance. This opening scene was so powerful to me because I was witnessing something I had never seen before: a level of perfection and grace in which I had my own heart set upon for the flute, but did not recognize it until this moment! All I could think of was, “he dances exactly as I want to play the flute!” It was something I will never forget. Later that night, back in my own solitary hotel room, I turned on whatever music came from the radio, and danced upon the two hotel beds and the floor, around and around, trying and imitating new things I had not previously done. I simply needed to express some kind of freedom and beauty which my soul recognized, but which I, myself, had none of the technical capabilities of actually attaining---I wasn’t training to be a dancer, after all. Attainment was not the point: it was the VISION of what I had just experienced, and it was a vision that came fully alive within, and one in which I would never forget as a constant source of inspiration. From then on, I kept Baryshnikov pictures in my practice room, to remind me of what it was I was seeking on the flute…

After my concert in Ramallah, one bright student named Taher, a boy of 12, came up to me immediately following and said, “I feel I have discovered you tonight”. I burst out laughing, but this is precisely the soul of the matter! I am very clear that my time working here is precisely for these flute students, who are the reason I have come. They are my “work” right now, in addition to my own professional and personal development which is interminably ongoing…

INSPIRATION, and CARPE DIEM

For the past two weeks since the concert, students have been quickly growing and improving. I feel very proud of them, each in their own way. Most all of them are arriving at their lessons having really practiced, and thought about the quality of what they are producing! They listen more deeply, and this is exactly what I had hoped would happen. If I leave any concept at all with them, I want it to be the understanding that the flute is for THEM, not for some specific, arbitrary level of “examination” (which they will have at the end of the year), or to even decide whether they will become professional musicians. It is to serve their life RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW. That it is a place of solace, and a realm in which to truly learn how to become “better than you are”----in this case, on the flute. To learn about what it is to require more of yourself, to improve something that is fully within your capabilities of improving, and to find that part inside yourself where you seek perfection or at least dedicate yourself to the concentration this seeking requires. It doesn’t mean reaching a sustained perfection, but always seeking it, and demanding the “best” from your self.

It reminds me so much of the Latin saying, “carpe diem”—seize the day. I find myself constantly preaching this---be better, right here, right now, on something that is of a noble beauty---the flute. For example, within the past few weeks there was a tragic accident here: someone at a gas station was welding one of the tanks, obviously not really knowing what he was doing, and suddenly the entire station blew up. The roof and every object nearby flew into the air and landed back on top of whoever was present at the time. Among the many victims in that tragic accident was a young boy of eight or nine years old, who was instantly killed. This young boy was a music student at the Conservatory. It was not a bullet or struggle over ‘land’, or a fight for “freedom” that killed him, it was a tragic accident on an otherwise ‘normal’ day. This tragedy teaches me something: life is short! Seize the day! Stop the local political fighting and power struggles, and live a better life, because tomorrow may not be given to YOU to live.

And so it is precisely here that I want to reach the flute students: live as fully as you can today, being the best you can be in full ALIVENESS. Put away slothfulness, and use your flute to find this aliveness and betterment. There is so much in life all around you that you cannot control, or even make into a ‘positive’, but you can change how you play this note, this phrase, or this piece of music…and you will feel like a better human being in the next moment from having worked on this! It is WORTH putting your time in on this endeavor, I tell them. Not all things are of worth in giving your time and attention, but the larger task of learning how to seek a higher level than you are currently at is a worthy, empowering endeavor. As I keep saying, it is a noble endeavor, which no one can take away from you.

I sincerely hope that all this good that is happening here with the flute students does not get messed up when I leave this next week…I leave for a concert in Chicago, and will be gone for the equivalent of two lessons for most students. It will be interesting to see if they keep working…

Today, it is a gorgeous, warm, sunny day in Ramallah. It is a ‘day off” for me. The sky is blue, and the birds are singing passionately. In this moment, all is perfect. All is beauty. And I am thrilled to be alive to tell about it!

---Rhonda

March 4, 2007